The void drives your values….
Whatever you’ve felt has been lacking in your life,
Or what you felt you did not receive as a child,
Will drive your biggest values in your adult life…..
If you felt that you lacked freedom and autonomy as a child, no doubt you will be one of the freedom fighters,
If you felt that you lacked financial well-being and security, no doubt it will be high on your list to take care of,
If you felt that you lacked love, warmth, connection, and parental presence, you will no doubt have become the parent you always wished you had…..
Some of these things can be painful to acknowledge, but I believe it’s truly important to be conscious of these things, otherwise, they will continue to drive you unconsciously.
I’ve seen it again and again in myself as well as with my clients, that we will tend to overcompensate in these areas.
This is why being so conscious of it, is so important otherwise we end up in a polarized place.
You may have had an extremely challenging childhood, so you may tend to be more of a helicopter parent, never wanting your child to ever experience heartache or any challenges, or to ever feel unloved or abandoned by you.
However, this will set up a whole new challenge not only for yourself in feeling that you can never rest, or relax, but also challenges for your child. They may pick up on your fears, anxieties, and concerns that you have for them and unconsciously feel responsible for your feelings. Because they will feel the need to reassure you that they are constantly ok, which means, they can’t actually fully express their most authentic feelings, they may become unconsciously responsible for you and your wellbeing.
Another example is if your parents were struggling financially, and you barely received any gifts. You may tend to over-give to your own children, as you will never want them to experience missing out on things and going through what you went through. However, this may end up breeding a sense of entitlement in your child, that they just expect you to give them whatever they want.
There is no right or wrong in any of this, it’s just bringing greater conscious awareness to it all, doing the inner healing work, so that we are no longer polarised to one way of being, in an attempt to fill the void that we felt when we were a child.
I’ve massively deep-dived on co-dependency, childhood programming, and conditioning and what drives human behaviour.
I can so clearly see that so much of it is generational trauma. It’s handed down from generation to generation until someone chooses to become the circuit breaker and no longer continue the dysfunctional and polarized ways of being, such as needing to please others and feeling overly responsible for everyone in their lives, and having their trauma and unhealed woundings running them unconsciously.
So many women and men are completely burnt out and exhausted, feeling that they constantly feel responsible for everyone around them, they can’t let others down, they need to please others and keep them happy.
This eventually means burnout. Add in a couple of acute life stressors, such as financial challenges, a relationship breakdown, surgery or loss of a loved one, or any major life change and it can feel like falling off a cliff edge.
This is what happened to me, I had been under chronic low-level stress for years and years, as a single Mum and self-employed business owner, I had always pushed myself to the limits, without really knowing my own healthy boundaries, and in one week, I had 3 massive grief events occur.
It floored me and I had nothing left…..
All resilience and life energy and capacity were smashed in an instant….
I was barely able to function for more than 2 hours a day, yet the doctor said I was totally fine when they ran my standard blood…..
I was not fine, especially on the physical level. It’s just that the standard blood tests miss so many of the other underlying factors…
It’s so important to understand how it’s all interlinked… The physical, the mental, the emotional, and the spiritual….
Please know that what is left unhealed mentally and emotionally will continue to drive you unconsciously and impact your physical health and well-being.
Healing our inner child, our people pleaser, and building a very strong foundation of self-love is what is most important, to finding a state of equilibrium, well-being, and health again.
If you would love to truly understand what these factors are and how to heal them, to get your health, your energy, and your well-being back, click here to access my 28-Day Mini Thrive program.
In it you will:
• Understand the beliefs and childhood conditioning that are keeping you stuck.
• Learn how to unravel your deepest fears about yourself and how to clear your inner critic’s voice.
• Learn how to say no and set healthy boundaries that create deeper intimacy and connection with your loved ones, whilst improving your health and energy
• Know the key things to do, to improve your physical health massively and clear that brain fog!
• Express yourself freely and become your most natural and authentic self.
• Create a life you love, filled with more joy, and spend time doing the things that fulfill you most.
It’s so worth doing the inner work.
Love and Blessings,
Embracing your emotions…. At first, they will appear to intensify, At first, they will seem to grow larger and deeper, And it may scare you, But as you stay present with them, As you expand into the feeling even more, They will dissipate fast. Even in the deepest grief, when I’ve been truly present with …
Love pure love. Wrapping my spirit up in it’s warm blanket A constant source of guidance and support A feathered nest to lay thy weary head, in times of darkness A breath, a glimmer of hope, As the newness of the day dawns on the horizon, A sparkle. A light far off in the distance, …
Abundant Heart Coaching, 538A The Esplanade, Warners Bay NSW 2282, Australia
Phone: (+061) 428 316 546