Do you feel like you’re not enough at times?
You may be carrying induced shame….
Shame as a topic can make many people feel uncomfortable, because it can be such a heavy emotion, yet it is so prevalent among us humans and is often the undercurrent that leads to so much pain as well as unconscious and unresourceful behavior and the root cause of “not feeling enough”.
And the important thing to understand is that the majority of the shame that many people carry is actually not their own. It’s actually induced shame.
If you’ve ever had the thought or feeling that you are not good enough, like I have, this will be a powerful and freeing read for you.
Induced shame comes from the experience of someone else acting in a reckless and shameless way, and having no shame, regret, or remorse for what they’ve done.
This is one of the reasons why people that have been sexually or even physically abused can end up feeling immense shame because they are literally feeling and carrying the shame that the perpetrator was unable to experience, own, and take responsibility for, in their damaging and shameful behavior.
This also can occur when we experience parenting shame, yet fail to recognize what’s going on consciously and end up raging or taking it out on our children instead. The child absorbs the shame we were unable to carry at that moment and feels worthless.
And as we were all once children, no doubt we may have experienced this at least once if not many times, with a primary caregiver.
Especially if at the moment, they were super stressed, felt like they were failing, and had not done the emotional work on themselves, to heal their own induced shame that they would have experienced from their own parents.
This is why induced shame, is also very much a generational trauma.
Many of the parenting styles from 50 years ago, were based on authoritarian/controlling/shaming-type attitudes as a way of getting the child to conform and behave. This has had major implications, and science and medical research are only just beginning to understand the dire impact this has on the nervous system, mental health, and overall happiness and well-being.
One of my friends was even sharing with me that one of her daughters’ colleagues was still using shaming as a way of attempting to control a child’s emotional dysregulation in the classroom. It broke my heart…..
Feeling shame can also trigger the nervous system’s response of shutdown and a frozen state. This is why people that have carried immense shame, often feel so apathetic, and unmotivated and find themselves feeling so blocked and paralyzed when they try to take action in their life.
I have noticed a massive association in myself going into shutdown and partial freeze response when I feel shame, but also have noticed that when my nervous system is triggered and goes into a freeze response, I also tend to experience shame. The two are very interlinked.
It’s also important to note that one of the fastest ways to move out of shame unconsciously, is to blame someone else. We can do this without any awareness of what’s really going on until we start to observe the deeper wounding operating beneath the surface.
If you’ve ever had the pervasive feeling that you are not good enough, that you’ve let others down, or that you are a failure, or should be doing better in some way, chances are you possibly experienced some or many shaming experiences.
I know personally, I used to feel so much shame for my big and messy emotions, and the more shame I felt about them, the more heightened and out of control my emotional state became.
Healing this within ourselves is one of the most significant gifts we can give ourselves and give the world.
It will not only bring about a deep feeling of peace, calm, self-love, and connection but also make such a difference in your life with your relationships, finances, and health, as well as your happiness and how you feel about yourself.
In my Know Your Worth course, I give you the exact tools, skills, and strategies needed to heal these thoughts and feelings.
It gives you empowering guidance on how to navigate the beliefs that induced shame can create, how to not only become more consciously aware of them but also how to challenge them and let them go, so they are no longer ruling your day-to-day experience and impacting your self-worth.
If you would love to get the tools to support you in this journey, and not only help yourself heal but to be able to teach your kids how to work with their painful thoughts and feelings, click the button below to grab your lifetime access today.
Healing my own shame and knowing how to overcome my painful thoughts has literally changed my life on so many levels. You so deserve to free yourself and you are to deserving of feeling good and truly knowing your worth.
This course is truly worth at least $500 for the transformational changes, happiness, and well-being that it can bring about, but I am so passionate about everyone being able to get access to these life-saving skills and tools that it is ONLY $27 for a limited time.
Click the button below to get it today.
Love and Blessings,
Sal x
Abundant Heart Coaching, 538A The Esplanade, Warners Bay NSW 2282, Australia
Email: admin@sallyholden.com.au
Phone: (+061) 428 316 546