Are you there for you?

You have a friend that you love and care about and you’d love to catch up with them.

You decide to meet at 10 am at JoJo’s coffee shop on a Saturday.

You arrive a few minutes early and sit and wait…..

10 mins later, still no friend.

20 mins later, still no friend,

You phone them, no answer.

And by now you are feeling a bit frustrated, but also concerned that something has happened to them.

You head back home and end up hearing from them later that afternoon, that their kids were fighting, and they needed to be with them to help sort it out.

That’s understandable, you think to yourself.

You’d still love to catch up with them, so you organize to meet again the following Saturday at 10 am, same place.

You arrive a few minutes early and sit and wait for them to arrive….

10 mins pass…..

20 mins pass…..

And still no friend, this time, you are feeling a bit more peeved. This is twice, this has happened, you try and call them, and still no answer.

You head home and later that day they phone and say, “Sorry Mum needed me to help her with some things, I’m sorry I couldn’t get there.”

Feeling frustrated, but still wanting to catch up with this friend, you agree to catch up the following week, same time, same place.

And that same old feeling comes over you as you are sitting there waiting and your friend doesn’t show AGAIN!!!

By now, you are not only frustrated, but you are also feeling angry, you can’t believe this has happened AGAIN!

How do you feel about this friend?

Do you trust them?

Are you able to rely on them, to do what they say?

The thing is,

This is what we do to ourselves all the time……

Especially if you’ve been a chronic people-pleaser all your life.

We continually abandon ourselves and our own agenda and plans, when somebody else’s emergency, now becomes our urgency. (I get that in some cases we really do, need to be with those we love.)

However, we can end up doing this at the drop of a hat.

It creates distrust in ourselves,

It creates frustration and anger toward ourselves.

And it massively impacts our sense of self-worth and self-value when we say we are going to do something and don’t show up for ourselves.

I know that frustration, I used to do this to myself a lot.

Choosing to change this one thing really made such a huge difference to me.

I no longer make promises to myself that I can’t keep.

I consciously choose what I will and won’t commit to, depending on my capacity and my energy levels and I’m ok with letting others know, what I have already committed to, for myself.

Choosing to show up for you, will bring self-belief, confidence, deep self-love, and a feeling proud of who you are.

All leadership starts with ourselves, and if you are wanting to make changes in your life, it truly starts with choosing to “Show up for yourself and keep your own promises to yourself.”

(This also means having the courage to face our fears and choosing to move forward and take action, even when we are unsure or are learning a new skill.)

Love and Blessings,

Sal x

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