Breaking Free!

Breaking Free!

Have you ever found yourself stuck in a situation, feeling utterly powerless to change it? You’re not alone; we’ve all been there. It’s like being trapped in quicksand, convinced that there’s no way out. But what if I told you that the key to breaking free from this suffocating grip lies in understanding and challenging the concept of “Learned Helplessness”?

The Tricky Trio: Permanent, Pervasive, and Personal

Learned Helplessness is a concept that psychologist Martin Seligman discovered through a series of experiments involving dogs. These dogs were subjected to various unpleasant conditions and, over time, learned that their actions couldn’t change their circumstances. As a result, they became passive and resigned.

This concept applies to humans too, and it often revolves around three dangerous P’s: Permanent, Pervasive, and Personal which keep us completely stuck and feeling powerless to change our lives.

Permanent: We tend to believe that our predicaments are permanent and that they’ll never change. For example, if we face a setback in our career, we might think we’ll never succeed.

Pervasive: We generalize our problems, assuming they’ll affect every aspect of our lives. So, if a relationship goes south, we might believe we’re doomed in all relationships.

Personal: We take things personally, believing that we’re the cause of our problems. If a project at work fails, we might think it’s because we’re simply not good enough.

The Good News is these Beliefs Are just Limiting, they are not Reality…..

The truth is, these beliefs are not set in stone; they are limiting perspectives that we’ve adopted over time. It’s like wearing glasses that distort our view of the world. And the funny (and liberating) thing is, we can take those glasses off!

By approaching our challenges with a sense of humour and curiosity, it can help us break free. How many times have you laughed at a problem only to realize it didn’t seem so insurmountable anymore? (Especially those moments when you don’t know whether to laugh or cry….)

It’s not about trivializing your problems but rather about shifting your perspective. Laughter can be a powerful tool to remind you that no problem is permanent, pervasive, or personal forever.

How to challenge the Three P’s

Permanent: Start by recognizing that very few things in life are truly permanent. Change is the only constant. When you face a setback, remind yourself that it’s just a moment in time, not a life sentence. Keep your focus on the bigger picture.

Pervasive: Resist the urge to generalize your problems. Just because one area of your life isn’t going as planned doesn’t mean everything is falling apart. Identify the specific issue and address it without letting it colour your perception of everything else.

I also like to apply the Byron Katie work (www.thework.com) to any beliefs that are keeping me stuck, such as “This always happens to me.”

Personal: Instead of taking it personally, focus on what you can control and how you could possibly improve next time. (Remember trauma happens at the moment we internalise an event and unconsciously make it mean something damaging about ourself, such as “I’m not good enough.”)

When we can reframe an experience to ask ourself, what might this be helping us learn? We are shifting our perspective from shaming and blaming ourself, (this is what keeps us stuck) into taking Response-Ability. (Our ability to respond to and grow from a situation/circumstance.)

Taking Action and Reclaiming Your Power

Breaking free from Learned Helplessness is an ongoing journey. Here are some actionable steps to get you started:

Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness to become more aware of your thoughts and beliefs. When you notice yourself slipping into the Three P’s, gently redirect your thinking.

Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Remember that setbacks are a part of life, not a reflection of your worth. Treat yourself with the same compassion you would offer a friend.

Seek Support: Don’t be afraid to reach out for support when needed. Friends, family, or a professional can provide valuable perspectives and guidance.

Challenge Your Comfort Zone: Sometimes, we become trapped in Learned Helplessness because it feels safe and familiar. Challenge yourself to step outside your comfort zone and take small risks.

If you would love to step forward on this empowering journey of breaking free from feeling stuck and blocked, as your coach, together, we’ll explore these limiting beliefs, replace them with empowering ones, and discover your innate strength and resilience.

Helping you get unstuck from the unconscious beliefs that have kept you playing small and not being the fullest and most expressed version of yourself and creating, doing and being what you truly want to be doing, is one of the greatest gifts that you can give to yourself and also your loved ones.

So many of my clients over the years have been able to share their new wisdom and learnings with their families and children, forever changing and empowering them to create a life they love!
Not to mention the huge shifts they’ve also experienced with their businesses and finances!

Remember, life is a series of ups and downs, but it’s also a canvas waiting for your masterpiece. Break free from the illusion of permanence, pervasiveness, and personalization, and watch as your world transforms. Your power is not just within reach; it’s already within you. Let’s embrace it and create a life filled with joy, empowerment, and endless possibilities.

Email me today at admin@sallyholden.com.au, if you’d love to find out how.

Love and Blessings,

Sal x
P.S.

Learning these concepts and breaking free from soooo many limiting beliefs I had, radically changed my life for the better.

Especially understanding how I had “personalised” so many events in my life and how this had impacted my self-confidence and self-esteem severely…..

There’s no way I would be living the life I am today, without doing the inner work I’ve done over the years and I’m so grateful for that.

Even learning how to Scuba Dive, took immense courage and inner work to be able to truly enjoy these incredible moments that life offers us, if we have the courage and desire to create them. xxx

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