Do you judge yourself?

The very things you judge yourself the most for, are the very things that helped you survive.

Just read that again and take it in slowly. 


As humans, we are incredibly adaptive. 

All of our coping mechanisms, even addictions or unresourceful behaviours, at one point in our life, were PRO survival.

Meaning they helped you survive a very challenging situation in your life. 


If you believed that you needed to be more perfect, it was an attempt to get love, validation, and approval from your parent/s.

If you believed you were too emotional, it was an attempt to not be yelled at or isolated.

If you believed that you were too much of this or not enough of that, it was an attempt to fit in, belong, and be accepted.

My emotional eating was a way of attempting to soothe the pain of feeling so alone and so unlovable.

When I smoked it was a way of attempting to fit in and belong and alleviate social anxiety and awkwardness when I felt overwhelmed with what I was taking in energetically from the environment I was in.

When I drank, it was a way of numbing the pain of not being my authentic self and hating who I was.

By pushing myself incessantly with my work it was an attempt to block out my fear of never being good enough and self-loathing.

By trying all sorts of ridiculous diets, it was an attempt to finally be thin enough to be loved. 


All of these coping mechanisms came from trauma. 

It came from the belief that I was not enough.

It came from feeling ashamed of who I was.

And we can all have these feelings, regardless of the home or environment we grew up in. 


When we can understand this, we let go of judgment. 

We embrace compassion.


Every single one of your behaviours that you dislike about yourself, was once a pro-survival mechanism for you. 

Even feeling like a victim, gave me time out to rest and to stop the relentless cycle of pushing myself.

Depression is often the suppression of deep hurt, rage, and anger that you were never allowed to express. 

Anxiety is often the deep fear that you are all alone, and no one will be there for you. It was your mind’s way of attempting to protect you, by being wary of the world. (Which was an attempt of keeping you safe as a child.)

All of these things kept you safe and alive at one point in your life. 


But now, they may also be the very limitations that keep you stuck in painful patterns and cycles. 

Particularly when it comes to low self-esteem and judgment or criticism of self.

Or painful cycles in relationships.


Trauma is not the event, but what happened inside of us, when that event occurred. ~ Gabor Mate.


It was the unconscious meaning that we attached to that event – what we made it mean about ourselves.

This is where our connection with ourselves is damaged and that is where our greatest pain begins.

Understanding the root cause of your disconnection with self is vital in restoring this connection. 


It is the pathway to healing your physical body.

It is the pathway to reclaiming your full divinity and magnificence.

It is the pathway to deep self-love.

It is the pathway to deep inner peace. 


It is the pathway to stepping into the fullness of who you really are.

So many illnesses and diseases are a physical manifestation of the deep internalised pain you’ve suppressed inside yourself all this time.

If you are exhausted and overwhelmed and you are so tired of feeling constantly triggered in your life, it is time to commit to the pathway of healing.

This will not only bring you incredible energy and physical health and wellbeing but will enhance every single one of your relationships with your loved ones. 

I believe that unhealed trauma and being triggered is the number one cause of communication breakdowns. 

To heal our relationships, we must heal ourself first. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically.

If you are so tired of just existing and getting through the day, it is absolutely time to make a decision and commitment to Thrive in your life.

Book your call with me today, only 5 places left for this month.

Book your call now!

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Abundant Heart Coaching

Abundant Heart Coaching, 538A The Esplanade, Warners Bay NSW 2282, Australia


Phone: (+061) 428 316 546