Do you over give?

I’ve been doing an amazing course this week.

One of the things that I was deeply reminded of again, was how much we lose ourselves when we are focused on who someone else is being. 

When we are frustrated, angry, upset, annoyed, or disappointed in another person, we often step straight into judgement. 

Especially if we are quite emotionally hooked by the person or the situation. 

We become reactive. And we can often end up blaming that person for the way we feel. 

When this happens to me, I feel destabilised energetically. I lose focus on who I need to be and what I need to do for myself and tend to focus on what I believe they should do, and who they need to be. 

That is pure projection. I’m projecting my beliefs and thoughts onto them.

And it can leave me feeling completely out of control, derailed, and not focusing on what I need to do in my own life. 

And it never ever works. 

And thankfully my inner guide showed me a movie this morning in my mind to demonstrate this.

 

Imagine someone couldn’t stand up straight and they bumped into you, knocking you over.

You are so upset and angry, that you literally follow them around all day trying to tell them how to walk properly, how to stand up straight, how to not knock into other people. You are trying to catch them and pull them back up the whole day. 

Every time they fall, they knock you over again, yet you can’t let it go, you become more and more annoyed and you believe that you NEED them to learn how to stand up straight. 

They should know that and they shouldn’t be knocking people over. 

You are so emotionally hooked into this situation, that you become exhausted, from trying to tell them how they need to be and hold them up straight all day, that now your back is hurting and you can’t stand up straight either and now you’re bumping into people too.

When all that was required initially, was to actually remember that you could just stand back up yourself and get on with your day.

This is what we do when we deny our own self-responsibility and believe that someone else needs to change in order for us to feel better. 

We end up following them around in our mind all day, thinking about how they need to be, what they need to do, and losing power and focus in our own lives. 

It’s exhausting. 

You may have a genuine desire to help this person.

But to keep letting them knock you over again and again and forget your own ability to stand up yourself is denying your own personal responsibility in what you are allowing to continue to happen in your life. 

The more hooked you are, the more you will believe the other person needs to change. 

This is not about blame, it is about ownership of what you choose and what you want in your life. 

If someone continues knocking you over, it is your own responsibility to take yourself out of the way. 

At least until you feel capable to respond, without being knocked over in the process. 

 

You are powerful, 

You are magnificent,

And you get to create a life you love. 

With Love and Blessings,

Always in All Ways,

 

Sal xox

 

P.S.

Gorgeous, if you are exhausted and tired, I can guess from my own experiences in life, that you may have your fair share of people that you are trying to hold up and make sure they are ok, whilst denying or dismissing your own needs. 

It’s painful, I get it. Especially if you have a big heart and care deeply. It can be so hard to deal with the guilt and shame that can come from not putting everyone else first. Especially if you’ve had a lifetime of “being the responsible one” or the “one that always takes care of things.”

And for me and also for many of my clients this pattern comes from a deep fear of not being worthy of love, or not being valuable enough. It keeps women in a pattern of over-giving and over-caring, often burning themselves out completely until the body finally says no. And you become so exhausted or so sick, that you just can’t keep going. 

I know it’s confronting but taking care of you and your personal health is vitally important. Your own personal needs, your desires, and doing things that you love for you, are also what increases your life force energy. When you deny these or push these things to the side, resentment and deep grief set in. 

You are so deserving of your own love, your own care, and your own support. To break this damaging cycle once and for all and to reclaim your health and your passion for life, book your Free Breakthrough Burnout call with me today. 

Book here Now!

It’s time to take care of you Beautiful xox


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Abundant Heart Coaching

PO Box 966, Wagga Wagga NSW 2650

Email: admin@sallyholden.com.au

Phone: (+061) 428 316 546