Sometimes we don’t realize how far we’ve come until we look back and truly take stock of where we’ve been.
An old memory popped into my head yesterday of a pivotal key decision I made, the very day my beautiful Mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer back in 2009.
A few months before my Mum’s diagnosis, I had also found myself, in a place I never imagined that I would ever be…..
Becoming a single Mum.
I’d been struggling to navigate all the hurt, anger, sadness, and fear from my marriage breaking down and the news about my Mum honestly hit me like a sledgehammer.
I remember the moment so vividly, I was standing over the stove, cooking tea for myself and my girls, with a glass of red wine in my hand, thinking to myself, it could be really easy to drink myself into oblivion right now.
And at that moment, I realized how close I was to making unresourceful life choices, which would not only affect my life but the lives of my two girls, aged 6 & 8 at the time.
I poured the remaining contents of wine into the sink and put the glass down.
I chose in the moment, that I was not going to deal with either of these situations using alcohol.
And I didn’t drink a drop for the next 7 years.
(These days I may sip my partner’s cider occasionally, but it’s still pretty rare for me to have a full drink to myself.)
It wasn’t about the alcohol though. I could have used emotional eating, spending money, or anything else in an attempt to avoid my intense emotional pain and fear.
It was the decision to confront my emotions head-on and to learn how to navigate life situations such as this, without a crutch. Feeling it all, processing it all, being with it all, and allowing myself to be in it, without needing to fix it or change it.
14 years on, that experience and decision at that moment, has changed my life radically and I realized, in that sliding doors moment, I could be living a very different life from the one I am today, if I had made a different decision.
I might still be only earning $300 a week, I might still be struggling with addiction, be it alcohol or emotional eating, and I might still be feeling like a victim of my life circumstances.
I might still be racked with fear and anxiety every day, not knowing who I am, I might still be caught up in so much pain, anger, and resentment, I might still be hating myself for not showing up as the Mum I wanted to be for my girls, let alone helping others and making a difference in the world.
There is so much that would have been different for me, had I not made that choice.
And today, I’m forever grateful to that divine power (my higher self, God, Source, Spirit, Love) that was guiding me on that day to make that powerful decision for myself.
And I’m so grateful for the awareness that dropped in for me yesterday on that sliding doors moment and I’m so proud of the woman I’ve become since making that key decision.
What’s something that you’ve overcome, that you’ve not fully recognized or appreciated in yourself?
How have you moved forward or been able to change your life for the better?
What’s been a difficult/confronting key decision in your life, that you know has changed your life for the better?
I invite you to take a moment now, to truly acknowledge that and celebrate yourself for that.
We can be so hard on ourselves at times and really acknowledging how far we’ve come, can be one of the best anecdotes for this.
Sending you love and blessings from my heart to yours,
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