Do you tend to think in extremes when you’re triggered?

We sometimes forget that there are a million shades of grey between white and black…..

I don’t know about you, but especially in the past when my ego/survival mind is triggered I would operate in extremes, my mind would often feel that there was only one or two options,
And it would often catastrophize either of these options.

Leave or Stay,

Rage, scream, and get my point across, or not speak up at all,

Be fully there for someone else and abandon me entirely, or abandon them and be there only for me and then feel guilty for days….

There are so many other black-and-white thinking things that I’ve done in the past, even when it comes to working out or moving my body, whether it was a full-on workout or nothing at all….

These extremes are very much survival-based decisions and generally, neither of them will feel that good because both decisions are coming from fear-based, reactive thinking.

Being able to first process our emotions and the associated beliefs that are coming up around the situation is so important to find more of the grey in between the black-and-white thinking.

Often there are many, many options in being able to resolve situations, even from the workout perspective, we might be able to go for a gentle walk, do some stretching or some lovely yoga, or even deep breathing or gentle bouncing on the rebounder that could be supportive.

I now ask myself, what can I do that would be most supportive for me now?

But the key question to ask even before that, is “What is the outcome I’m wanting to experience?” This will help slow your racing/reactive survival mind down and focus on what you want to create instead.

This will help your mind to refocus and then ask yourself, If that’s what I’m wanting to experience, what can I do that would be most supportive, or take me towards that?

This is a powerful question to ask ourselves, and sometimes our survival mind won’t like the answer, especially if it involves having a difficult conversation, or confronting a challenging person, or even setting a healthy boundary when it would be much easier to just give in.

However, this is what healthy and mature emotional growth looks like.

It’s easy to revert to survival-based strategies such as just leaving, yet our old re-occurring woundings and patterning will never take us to our ultimate destination of creating a healthy relationship if that’s what we are wanting to create.

Working through the hard things takes maturity, takes courage, and takes full self-responsibility for our outcomes.

It’s not always easy, but it is so worth it.

Rarely do we need to make black-or-white decisions, and give ourselves the time and grace to ask ourselves quality questions, rather than making knee-jerk-reactive in-the-moment decisions that we may regret later on.

There are a million shades of grey in-between black and white….

And often there are the exact solutions to our prayers.

We only need to focus on our greater outcome and slow down our fear-based mind by asking quality questions, to be able to find, experience, and action them.

Love and Blessings,

Sal x


Learning emotional mastery was one of the most important factors in changing every single area of my life, I never realized how fearful I was, until I was no longer living in that fear day to day.

I was terrified of men and relationships.
I was terrified of money.

I was constantly feeling like I needed to prove my worth and value by over-giving and over-extending myself constantly.

I was constantly living in a state of survival where it felt that every tiny little thing that could go wrong, would be disastrous.

I would be devastated and deeply affected for weeks and weeks by the smallest of things….

I’m so grateful for the inner work I’ve done over the past 15 years, that even when big things happen these days, I know deep down inside I’m ok.

I still have real human emotions and responses to life events, however, I’m my own safety net. I know I’ve got me and that’s one of the most powerful and stabilizing feelings ever.

If you would love to develop the tools and strategies to be truly able to master life emotionally and mentally, to truly embrace your power as a divine creator, and create more of what you’d love to experience in life, then email me at to apply today.

I have 2 more spaces for 1:1 deep dive personalized coaching where you not only learn all the tools and strategies I’ve personally used that have radically transformed my own life but also utilized to create a life I absolutely love and on my own terms. Can’t wait to support you with this! xx

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