How do you define your sense of worthiness and value in yourself?
I’ve had a big realisation this morning….
I had previously attached my sense of self-worth and sense of value along with my meaning and purpose for living to my girls.
I distinctly remember the moment so clearly, I had hit rock bottom in my life, I was grieving the passing of my Mum and the breakdown of my marriage and becoming a single Mum, which had all happened within 12 months of each other.
My girls were playing happily in the lounge room and I was sobbing on my bed, feeling so much grief and a turmoil of other emotions….
I felt heartbroken, all I wanted to do was get up and go play with my girls, be present with my girls, yet I felt that I couldn’t because I was so overcome with emotion.
This broke my heart even further, I hated how I felt, I hated how I was showing up as a Mum for my girls and I wanted so much more for them.
I made a decision. At that moment, I decided that I would do whatever it takes to be the Mum I wanted to be for my girls. I got myself up out of bed and drew a metaphorical line in the sand.
It was a pivotal moment in my life.
I decided in that moment, that I had to find a way to make our lives better. I was committed and determined and at that moment, my girls became the whole reason and purpose for my existence and wanting to stay here.
My love for them, absolutely connected me with something deeper within myself at the time. I found a strength and courage that I didn’t know I had.
I grew extensively over the years, I trained, I started my business, I did everything I could to become more self-aware to stop my emotional eating, to be kinder and more self-loving, to become successful in business and to have enough financial freedom to put them through private school and for them to be able to pursue their interests and opportunities in life.
I did everything I could to provide for them and show up as the Mamma that I wanted to be for them.
Fast forward 12 years on……
My girls have now flown the nest and I followed my heart to live at the beach, something I have dreamed of and longed for the last 7 years.
It’s been a huge year of processing grief, letting go, resting, and healing my body from years of continually pushing it and being the single provider for our family of 3.
And what I hadn’t realised was that unconsciously all those years ago, I had attached a huge portion of my reason and purpose for living, my meaning for life, to be there for my girls…..
When this changed and I moved, I lost my identity, but deeper than that I lost my purpose, meaning, and reason for living.
Something that had been hugely motivating and inspiring me to show up every day to be the person I was, felt disconnected in me. I felt lost, I felt confused, I felt like a lost ship at sea, tossed and swirled about by the endless waves of emotion and loss of direction. Even though I talk regularly with my girls and they are still a huge active part in my life, it felt different.
My north star, my compass of showing up daily for my girls, had now massively changed.
Consciously I know my girls still love me and need me in their life, and of course, I’ll always be their Mum.
However, it felt like something had become dislodged internally and I didn’t know how to put the pieces back together, because up until this morning, I hadn’t recognised that I’d attached my meaning and purpose for life to my identity as a Mum, but also my sense of worth and value to being a Mum and the everyday activities that come with raising your children at home.
When this changed, I knew I was experiencing massive grief but didn’t fully understand the deeper pain that I’d unconsciously attached to this situation.
I feel so relieved that I’m now aware of it, and that I get to make a new conscious choice moving forward. That my worth and value get to stay completely intact because they were never in question anyway. (It was only my survival/ego mind that was suffering the consequences of these painful thoughts).
Change can be so difficult and underneath we don’t always recognise the deeper loss of identity that can happen with these changes, or what we’ve unconsciously made situations and circumstances mean.
I share this with you today, simply because you may resonate, you may have been through an experience in your life, that deeply impacted your personal identity – who you believed that you are or where and how you experience your sense of worthiness or value in the world.
We always have a choice to question what we make things mean, especially when they are causing us suffering, but even more than that, to bring empowerment, love, connection, and joy back into our life.
For me this next stage of crafting and creating my next chapter is exciting and it’s also about checking in with my girls to see what they’d like in their co-creation with me.
I get to deepen my experience of self-love, I get to deepen my sense of worthiness, value, and belonging by consciously choosing empowering meanings and making the choices that bring me more in alignment with my own internal values and integrity.
My joy has always been to follow my heart and to show my girls that by following our heart, we get to create our most joyful life, on our own terms and in a way that feels truly aligned for our own heart and soul.
You also have this opportunity.
If you’ve ever had an experience in your life that has made you doubt or question your value or worthiness in life, or you are feeling lost and confused within yourself and not sure what your purpose and meaning of life is for you, I absolutely encourage you to join me on The Warrior Goddess Self-Love School, which is kicking off on the 4th of January.
In the 4 Weeks of the Warrior Goddess Self-Love Course, we will be covering:
The course will be delivered in an online format, with a daily training video and journaling prompts 5 days per week, over the 4 weeks, with a Q & A Zoom session at the end to make sure all of your questions are answered.
You’ll have online access to me during the course to ask any questions that you have as well.
This course will be $497 normally, however for a limited time and for an extra Chrissy present it will be $197 upfront payment or 5 x $49 Weekly payments.
Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org me to claim your spot now, places are limited,
With Love and Blessings,
Always in All Ways,
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Abundant Heart Coaching, 538A The Esplanade, Warners Bay NSW 2282, Australia
Phone: (+061) 428 316 546