How do we keep our hearts open, in challenging times?
This was the theme of my client calls yesterday and it was so relevant for me also,
I’d realised I was in a state of resistance, feeling a bit blocked and stuck in my heart energy.
This sometimes can present as not knowing what I’m feeling, but just feeling a bit flat, a bit down, and not feeling aligned within myself.
Do you ever feel this way too?
Sometimes it can be hard to pinpoint exactly what’s going on, to know where we need to focus differently, or in fact, what we may need to emotionally process.
For me, I’d journaled, and I’d meditated (even though my mind was busier than normal) but it still wasn’t shifting to the degree that I wanted it to.
I went for my normal morning walk and listened to a new piece of music that had come up in my youtube feed and whoa, my heart cracked open instantly and tears flowed down my cheeks as I walked….
I realised how much I’d been holding onto, my partner had hurt his back quite badly a few weeks ago and even though I was remaining optimistic and upbeat that a solution would present and he would be able to heal it.
I wasn’t allowing myself to feel the full fear and sadness that I’d been experiencing underneath, of watching what a toll it had been taking on him.
It had kept me in “pushing and taking care of things mode”, something that my body is very, very, used to, (especially as a single Mumma for 12 years) however it is really coming from a deep fear of being out of control and trying to regain that control and it comes from a very masculine energy.
(And to be honest, I can get a bit addicted to it. I love to be productive, and I love to get things done and feel accomplished, yet it can really take me into exhaustion and burnout if I stay in this energy all the time.)
So many women I speak with, recognise this energy I’m talking about, in themselves, I used to call her my “Drill Sergeant”, she’s a softer version of that now, but nonetheless, she is definitely a taskmaster and a tick-it-off the” to-do list” energy!
And this energy does not serve me in the space of relationships, (she’s pretty much, get out of my way, so I can get things done energy… )
It doesn’t allow me to genuinely slow down and be present with my kids, because she’s constantly running lists of what else needs to get done.
And it definitely doesn’t allow me to relax into my deep divine feminine, where I’m super playful, joyful, and appreciative in my intimate relationship.
Neither of these energies is wrong or bad, both serve me, extremely well and I need both, in order to feel fully alive, radiant, joyful, and fulfilling my life purpose.
Both of these energies are wonderful when utilised with conscious awareness.
And being able to know how to switch in and out of both of these consciously is a true gift.
The more integrated I become with both my divine masculine and divine feminine, I’m sure there will become a deeper blurring of the lines, where they are not such distinct differences.
And what I know for sure after experimenting for years and years, is that the more I embody my divine feminine, the joy, the openness, the gratitude, the beauty, the appreciation, the more emotional and energetic fuel it creates for my divine masculine “doing” energy.
Because without that, we end up feeling that we are just moving through the motions.
Life loses its purpose, its meaning, and its beauty,
And we miss out on the Joy of our own life and being truly present with our loved ones.
This is why I believe in alignment first before action,
This is why I continue to do the inner work,
To know exactly how to drop back into my heart centre,
To feel safe within my body in my nervous system and to reassure my inner child, that all is going to be ok.
This allows me to create greater space, to choose my priorities, to operate consciously, and to take action from a place of deep joy, gratitude, and alignment.
It’s still a work in progress and I’m good with that,
As it’s part of being human and living in the duality of fear and love.
What lights your heart up?
What brings you back to your heart centre and reconnects you to yourself and life again?
Love and Blessings,
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