SELF-LOVE….

Do you love who you are BEING?

Years ago I was filled with self-loathing and self-anger, I didn’t love or respect my body, I didn’t feel valued and respected in my relationship.

I just longed to feel loved.

I wanted to feel great about myself,

I wanted to feel confident,

I wanted to be the best version of myself,

But honestly…

I felt so angry at myself so much of the time.

I felt that I was constantly not enough.

I felt that I was constantly failing.

I continually felt like I was breaking my own heart.

I’d constantly be self-sabotaging myself with all my negative thoughts and internal criticisms.

And so that’s what I’d also created in my reality.

I attracted a relationship, that reflected what I thought and felt about myself.

I attracted situations that reflected how I devalued and didn’t appreciate myself.

I felt constantly overwhelmed between blaming myself and blaming others for the way my life was.

I felt like the doormat and to be really honest, felt really used, because I had no sense of boundaries and because I was desperate for validation and approval. I’d rarely say no, opening myself up to all forms of guilt tripping and manipulation by others.

I tried affirmations and most days to be honest, they just made me feel worse, because I didn’t believe the words I was saying. I just felt like I was failing even more.

I tried feeling gratitude, but the words just felt empty,

I tried changing everything, my diet, how I moved my body, my finances all the self help, then would put so much pressure on myself, and when I did get it all done in a day, ended up feeling like a failure again.

The BIGGEST shift came, when I stopped trying to change my EXTERNAL REALITY, and focused on my own SELF-CONCEPT.

Who I was BEING.

But most importantly, how I FELT about ME.

I was nervous at first, we are constantly taught not to be too big for our boots, not to brag about ourself, so it was hard for me to really embrace, self-validation and self-approval and I realised that bragging etc, all came from feeling that we are not enough, rather than the internal confidence that comes from deep SELF-LOVE.

My whole life, I’d looked to others to approve of me, and to let me know if I was on the right track or not. WTF!

And to be honest, I even had someone close to me, tell me that nobody wants to hear how good my life was, when I was vulnerably sharing with them, all the things I was proud of, and how much had shifted and what I’d overcome to finally be in the new place I was.

It rocked me, and I also realised at the time, that this person, wasn’t where they wanted to be in their lives, so naturally didn’t want me sharing what I was most excited about with them.

However, it was just another deepening lesson, in how NOT to look for others for validation, approval and acceptance.

We have to discern this for ourself.

Learning how to LOVE, VALIDATE and ACCEPT myself, was one of the HARDEST and BEST things I’ve ever done for myself.

And it’s a continuing EVOLVING work in progress.

Everything shifted and changed from this new place of self-love and self-acceptance.

My eating reflected someone who loved and valued themselves,

How I moved my body reflected someone who loved and valued themselves,

My finances and relationships reflected more and more, someone who loved and valued themselves.

It was a natural flow on affect, of how I was beginning to see myself

and relate to myself.

I didn’t have to try and force changes,

They seemed to happen much more effortlessly because I was no longer trying to take action, whilst having all these negative thoughts of failure and criticism. – That’s super hard work and will create a whole bunch of resistance.

And whilst it felt amazing, to see all these changes happening in my external world.

There was honestly nothing more exciting, loving and truly soothing,

Than loving the depths of who I am at my core.

Recognising this amazing divinity within,

Because when we are able to recognise and see our own soul’s divinity,

We get to see this beautiful light and essence in everyone.

This is when everything shifts,

This is when life becomes the biggest blessing ever.

This is when we feel truly connected and

AT

HOME.

What’s one thing that you like, love or appreciate deeply about yourself?

How can you take time to honor that in yourself today.

With love and Blessings,

Sal xx

 

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