Years ago, I was passive, extremely passive, to the point I felt I’d entirely lost my voice.
I’d feel upset, hurt, or a flash of anger about something, but would swallow my words, shut down, withdraw and squish my emotions deep inside.
I hated confrontation.
Today I’m still not comfortable with it, but I am willing to speak up.
It’s taken a tonne of work, to be able to eloquently and
compassionately share my own personal needs, or speak up and be an advocate for myself when I’ve needed to.
I used to be a doormat and had no boundaries, I couldn’t communicate my needs and I would let people walk all over me, and treat me however they wanted to, because I was terrified of not being liked or losing approval or love from the person.
These days, with self-love as my foundation, I’ve found the courage to speak up for myself.
The process of shifting from completely passive, to being able to share and communicate my own needs and desires effectively and in a healthy way honestly took me about two years.
When I first started speaking up for myself, I swung into being aggressive, defensive, and reactive, because I was terrified, my needs wouldn’t be met. I felt like I had to fight for them.
This wasn’t helpful to any of my relationships, but I celebrated it as progress because finally I was speaking up and it felt better than staying stuck and powerless.
The next stage was about refining it to create healthier boundaries, creating win/win situations.
Checking in and hearing the other person’s perspective, needs and what felt right for them. Speaking from my heart and being able to feel compassion for the other person. This meant I had more chance of speaking to their heart also.
Our ego mind can be so reactive and defensive and when we speak from that place, we immediately elicit that from the other person.
This has been life-changing work, I’m so glad that I’ve grown so much in this area, it’s taken a tonne of inner work to get to this place, and I’m so proud of the way that I can communicate now.
Just today, I was needing to respond to a difficult situation that had been oscillating for a couple of months in my business.
I’m so proud of my response.
I’m proud that I could see things from the other person’s perspective and understand the stress that they could be feeling right now and I also am proud that I did not diminish my own needs, in order to avoid a confrontation or an uncomfortable conversation.
These are just some of the topics that I speak about and share strategies to support you, in my upcoming book, “A Joyful Life.”
And if you’d love to be part of the VIP Book List AND get my Power of Gratitude online course absolutely FREE as a gift for joining and being part of all the excitement, then click the button below to join today.
Can’t wait to see you in there, and share more bonuses and goodies, along with the journey and launching of my new book!
Love and Blessings,
Embracing your emotions…. At first, they will appear to intensify, At first, they will seem to grow larger and deeper, And it may scare you, But as you stay present with them, As you expand into the feeling even more, They will dissipate fast. Even in the deepest grief, when I’ve been truly present with …
Love pure love. Wrapping my spirit up in it’s warm blanket A constant source of guidance and support A feathered nest to lay thy weary head, in times of darkness A breath, a glimmer of hope, As the newness of the day dawns on the horizon, A sparkle. A light far off in the distance, …
Abundant Heart Coaching, 538A The Esplanade, Warners Bay NSW 2282, Australia
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