This morning I cried and cried…..
Tears of gratitude, releasing and streaming down my face.
Have you ever had those moments, where you look back, where your life was 5 – 10 years ago and you are just so grateful for where you are now?
12 years ago, I was going through my dark night of the soul, it was honestly the hardest time in my life.
It felt that everything had fallen apart,
My marriage was gone,
My Mum had just passed away and I felt so alone and isolated in the world.
I was missing my girls like crazy when they were away at their Dad’s on the weekends,
I was stressed beyond stressed about money,
I was trying to start my business,
I was so mean and vicious to myself, constantly berating and pushing myself to do more and work harder and would never let myself rest, to the point I would fall asleep in the afternoons when my girls read, their readers to me after school.
I was constantly triggered by those around me and felt so unloved.
I felt like a failure and felt so angry and sad most of the time,
I was in continual fear of how I was ever going to raise my girls as a single Mumma and provide for them in a way I truly wanted to…..
This morning, I acknowledged how far I’d come, and my tears of gratitude were for the universe, for God, for Soul, for Spirit.
Constantly guiding me, constantly loving me, constantly there for me.
And although at times I didn’t listen, or couldn’t hear because of the fear I was in, I was always shown the way.
Little nudges, little impulses, and my beautiful soul guiding me with its soft, repetitive whispers.
I am beyond grateful.
My heart is cracked open so wide.
Never in my wildest dreams back then, did I think I would be where I was now.
To have an incredible relationship and to have worked through and healed so many things,
To have my own business that I can work from anywhere and it gives me so much flexibility and time freedom and to have generated over a million dollars of revenue through it over the years.
To have helped and supported thousands of people over the last 12 years to change their lives and to have greater wellbeing, health and calmness in their life.
To feel so good in my own body, to no longer emotionally eat, or feel controlled by food.
To have overcome the grief of my Mum passing and feel so deeply connected to her daily,
To be so proud of the Mum I have become, (even though that’s a constant, evolving work in progress)
To have written my books and be in the process of publishing them,
To have time to spend with my loved ones and travel,
To be living my life in a way that lights me up,
To feel so fit and healthy in my own body. (For years and years, I hated my body.)
And the only reason I share this is because if you are in a dark place, if you are in the season of winter, I promise spring is just around the corner.
We don’t need to know HOW things are going to change, we just need to be clear on our vision and to follow the whispers of our heart daily.
I had no idea how I was going to be able to afford my girls private school fees, especially when they went to high school,
I I had no idea on how I was going to build my business,
I had no idea on how I was going to overcome the grief,
I had no idea on how I could heal my trauma from the past and create an amazing relationship with my love. (Still an evolving work in progress too!)
Yet somehow, bit by bit, day by day things changed, they got a bit better, they got a bit easier and for sure there were plenty of mountains to climb and challenges to overcome and boggy marshes to walk through, yet following the whispers of my soul, I learnt so many things along the way.
Life was giving me every experience I needed, to become the woman I am today.
Let go of how you think it “should be”.
Let your soul guide you,
It knows the way……
We totally overestimate what we can do or change in a year and we totally underestimate what can change in 10 years.
The biggest thing?
Don’t give up on your dreams.
They are there, waiting for you.
With so much Love and a ton of Blessings,
From my heart to yours,
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